Falling Slowly

Today's weather was nothing like what a day in summer should be.
It almost never stopped raining.

Im wondering if the chilling sensation deep in my heart was caused by the cold too.
Well, as much as i want to convince myself that was the case, i know its not true.

The weather outside was merely mirroring how i am feeling inside.

+++

It has been months..2 months..since i last posted(as i noticed).
The words that i wrote in the last few posts made me wonder what happened within just 8 weeks of time.
I used to be praying and hoping with everything in the world that he could stop stressing about the future and focus on the present.

I wish i could say the same now.

Things change. People change. And circumstances change, too.
Perhaps every journey must begin with a destination.
Even love cannot move ahead blindly, or it will simply collide into a dead end.

For me, everything started without any cause or reason.
Perhaps he had a destination in mind.. but i guess that was blurred too, over time.

Sometimes i dont understand why we are holding on..because..the future is, not unpredictable, but 99.9% barren of any hope. at all.

"永远是一根长长的丝线 系在你我之间"

Except that the thread is extremely flimsy and fragile.

Okay, i hate to admit it.
but im kinda scared. and lost.
thats what usually happen to people(like me) who have nothing much to do at home.
We tend to worry about anything we can find around us.
It could easily be the reason that im acting so emo and whiney right now..
but i guess this is different.


I wish someone could tell me what to do.
i wish he could tell me what to do.

Perhaps the best way is to work it out w him, whether it works or ends.

In two very different ways, I am falling.
falling in love.. and falling in despair..
Hopefully someone throws in a ladder or break either of the vertical descents.

9:13 PM ·